The Problem with Modern Family Gatherings

Thanksgiving is coming up and not far after is Christmas and eventually Easter all within a few months. So today’s topic is one of my pet peeves, family reunions. Now I don’t dislike my extended family or anything like that but I hate fake, shallow conversations. Now if you have a family that visits for a big family meal and some painfully pointless small talk every thanksgiving and Christmas and maybe even Easter then you can probably relate to what I’m going to touch on. If you know me or have read a bunch of my posts then you can probably tell that I hate small talk, I only like to talk if it has purpose or meaning and I prefer to talk with people I care about or at least people I like. Now I have made some friends with some people on one side of my family and the other side remains to be basically complete strangers. I don’t like these events because it goes the same way every time. We go around the table and ask: What are you doing these days? What school do you go to? Where do you work? and by the time everyone has said their piece I am certain that everyone has already forgotten what one another said.

Now I don’t blame anyone because I know that deep deep down, no one cares. We all put on a mask and a little show to hide who we really are and act all polite and proper. Next, we clean our homes to look unrealistically clean like IKEA and then we try to maintain it by getting stressed out by everyone who touches anything. These events I don’t care for. Now this whole getting together as a family idea sounds great if we ever hung out other than at these events but we don’t. I have never talked to my extended family (except one family in particular) outside of one of these events and therefore we have no bond, no relationship, and most importantly no obligation or motive to even care to connect with one another. By this I mean why would I bother to get to know them if I only have to see them 2 or 3 times a year? The answer is simple and has been proven about 2 or 3 times a year, we don’t. So I walk into a house of so my so-called “family” which remains to be strangers and while they converse among themselves I do almost nothing, I just contemplate whether or not I will ever bother to come back after the day I move out.

Now I do get along better with most of the other side of my family but it’s still hard. The young ones are finally old enough to better understand things like gaming, movies, deeper topics, and a few other relevant things but the adults mostly just gossip or talk about the weather. Despite being 19-years-old (at the time of writing this) I’m in this in-between stage where I am not sure if I am a kid or an adult but so far I prefer being a kid, they are fun and actually do stuff. If all else fails, then I prefer to just sit quietly and see who notices me and if no one does then I get to do one of my favorite things. I get to just sit alone and be a fly on the wall as I listen in on everyone’s conversations while I enjoy the free food. Now again I wouldn’t mind attending these family things if I actually got to see them in a smaller group setting. But you have hopefully picked up on the point I am trying to get across.

Lastly, I will be brutally honest, like super brutal, ready? For the most part, if one of my extended family members were to die, I wouldn’t notice. Next, if I found out (probably through social media) would I cry? I would definitely feel bad for their immediate family and any close friends but I don’t really know them or have a relationship with them of any kind so really why would I be sad? I know this makes me sound like a monster but I have an extremely hard time connecting to a person that I never ever see. So I apologize in advance if I don’t cry at the funeral… if I even go. It would be like briefly having a conversation with a stranger at Starbucks and then a month later seeing a post in the newspaper about them dying. You would probably say “oh my goodness!” and then say “I met that guy in Starbucks once before, I can’t believe he’s dead!” and then you would go about your day like every other day because you never really knew him and you never saw him around in your life ever except that one time. Get it? Got it? Good. Lastly, I should note that if I died then I don’t think any of my extended family would really care either so… yeah.