What Self Care Days Are NOT

What is self-care? We hear this phrase a lot these days. People feel they need a day off work or from school to have a day of self-care or a “Mental Health Day” which is another common phrase now. People feel they absolutely need a day to “care” for themselves.

You probably think I’m going to tell you about how rough life can be and that we truly deserve a day to take a bubble bath or stay home and binge TV shows while eating junk food. This is what you want to hear. But that’s a load of bullshit. The truth is, if that’s what you want to hear, it’s probably because you’re just lazy. This self-care mentality has quickly become a cheap excuse to spoil yourself and bail on any commitments. You do not need these spoils. They don’t help you get better or feel better about whatever it is that is getting you down. Sometimes you do need to refresh with a shower, getting eight hours of sleep, and a healthy meal. Self-care shouldn’t be you being a selfish and spoiled little bitch. As for those who have mental health issues. I get it, I used to be hopelessly depressed for years and I get that it sucks. There were days where going to work or to school or just leaving my bed felt like a trip to hell. I can tell you right now that going to work or school isn’t going to be easy but it also won’t make you worse. You have to face the music, you have to confront your own thoughts and poor emotional state head-on. It’ll make you stronger and more importantly, you won’t need to rely on pills or cheap (or expensive) coping methods. Staying in bed or treating yourself to a day of TV or even gaming isn’t going to make you feel better, at best it’ll numb your pain.

If you continue to flake out or choose to be selfish by taking days off for “self-care” then you’ll just get further behind and neglect your responsibilities. This will later cause you more stress and problems which will haunt you even more and they will drag out longer than they need to. That will then cause you to want to take “self-care” days more often and then things get worse. It’s a vicious cycle and I’ve met more than enough people who have done this. It becomes a way of life and to cope with it they then take their problems out on other people.

This brings me to my next point, so many of these problems that people are avoiding are either not real, easy to fix, or their fault. I’ve watched people as the question, “what if……?” a thousand times and they even assume all these terrible things and then make problems up. Sometimes people’s problem is that their idea of a problem is not being able to afford food but then blow hundreds of dollars on drugs and alcohol. How dumb can you be? Also when your problem is too much homework or chores to do…. Just do it. You can solve your problem by just doing the work, it’s not a hard decision since you have to do it anyway and if you don’t it’s only going to get worse. I apologize if I just sounded like your mom, sorry, not sorry.

Anyway, folks, if I can leave you with anything it’s this: don’t be dumb. Don’t self-sabotage, don’t pass the blame, don’t spend your time or money foolishly. I’d like to think this is all common sense but common sense seems to be rare these days which is strange. Also, I’ve seen way too many people do these things and then wonder why their life is so messed up. Don’t be dumb. Turn “Self-care” into “Self-Maintenance” where you WORK on yourself. Best of luck, cheers!

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